Having Fun-ds. At what point in life can we use them for fun?
Having Fun-ds
You have funds, most people, like Becky, don’t have the means to travel. They’ve wanted to go to Hawaii for many years, well, her husband’s never even been!
My face fell flat as it always does when someone makes a statement of that type. Who’s fault is it; mine or her’s? I can’t tell how this person needs me to respond and I find myself asking, Do I need to explain how I now have this trip scheduled or how I used points, or have a side hustle. Find any excuse to make it a reasonable choice to make my own decisions… or flip the coin and feel bad for Becky whom I have no control over? It’s confusing. This type of commentary is fairly common from this loved one, so, I walked away.
Feeling bad for sharing our upcoming plans for a large hut-to-hut European hike and also a family trip to Hawaii should be something to celebrate. This martyr mentality confuses me. Many of my peers would be happy for the experience, we’d swap stories or share notes. Eat here, don’t forget this, what will you pack? What a great time this would be, they’d exclaim! Another common response. I’ve always wanted to do that! But not from my loved one. After sharing what should be a comfortable topic with a family memeber, I’m feeling wrong for not only making travel plans for my family but for opening up about our plans, and for Becky and her poor husband. Should I gift them a trip too?
Even though I initially walked away, this time, for myself, I circled back. I owed it to myself to state the truth and while it’s true that currently I have funds to travel that hasn’t always been the case for me and my loved one should have known that the best of all. As a college student I choose to spend a semester studying abroad in Italy rather then living in Orange County. For decades I’ve been choosing travel as my primary means of fun whether it’s right around the block or it’s betting my first husband we’ll have a tax return, and if I’m right we’ll use it to book our next trip. Walking back down the hall I approached my loved one and did my best to stand up for myself and yet seem casual and warm in response. Hey. I said. I just wanted to remind you, although I do have funds now, I haven’t always. But! I have always loved to travel. Remember when I was in college and studied in Florence, Italy?
Biggest Takeaway
She seemed surprised and taken back, as if she hadn’t realized what was said. But it didn’t matter, not really. What made the most impact was the ability to speak my truth owning my history and current state of funds and the ability to always use them for fun.